Love. Live.Laugh..

Growing up I was convinced that my life was going to turn into a fairy tale. A very distinct memory of my childhood brings me back to this fantasy. When I was about 7 years old I had gone to visit my biological Dad for the summer. At his home, he lived on a long dirt road that led to "Horseshoe Bend" which had a couple of trailers and a lake. My dad lived close to a lady who had a beautiful garden of sunflowers...Well me being the imaginative and lonely child that I was...had always wanted to run through a field of flowers, and pick them as I was running like I had seen in the movies....This was the first and only time in my life that I have ever attempted a stunt like this....I remember having tangled hair, overalls on, and the dirt that covered my feet as I ran arms opened wide pulling up everyone of the neighbor's sunflowers....To my amazement, it was nothing like the movies. Yes, it was really fun to pull them up as I ran, but it was not as glamorous as the movies. I didn't giggle the whole way, and the wind did not magically blow my hair whimsically, and that moment did not last as long it does in the movies. In a matter of 10 seconds I had ripped up all of this poor lady's sunflowers, it was not like a day long adventure that some movies portray....

Needless to say, this moment in my life is the moment that I realized how different life is from the movies...How different Life is from fairy tales...I honestly wonder, Why did I believe these silly stories? I can look back at this seemingly insignificant experience in my life and learn so much.

I am so discouraged this evening. I do not know when I became so sensitive,but I really am I just wish that I looked closer before I leaped. I always think that I am too cautious, but now I realize why. I have learned to trust my first instinct about people. If I don't feel comfortable around a person in the beginning it usually means something, and I am certain that I am done trying with this person. I have completely folded my hand. I have nothing left to play. There is nothing left to give, but to take my ante and move on...

Because Life is not like the movies. Life is not a fairy tale. There are not always happy endings and magical ever afters. Sometimes it is ugly. Sometimes it is messy, and sometimes It is just easier to take the loss...

Not to say this it isnt worth running through to sunflowers, to find out the truth...It's just that sometimes ideals and realities can be disappointing...