Rain...

Dear Friend,



It is crazy how time flies and someone you once knew so very well, becomes such a stranger to you. At some point in our relationship I knew everything about you, and at some point we lost each other. For the past couple of years due to choices out of my control, I have felt completely helpless. I have watched you self destruct in more ways than one, but even in my frustration I have always loved you. There were times in our relationship where emotionally I was unable to handle where you were in your life, but that does not mean that I never stopped caring, or never stopped loving you. In our friendship, I have always been the old soul, and you have always been the free spirit. It seems at times you were never affected by pain, heartache, or trails. You were always so resilient, and when an obstacle was thrown your way,you were leaping through hurdles and always completed the challenge. Myself on the other hand, when wounded it takes me trial and error, and missed leap after missed leap to finally get over the pain. In some ways we are so different, it really makes no sense how we get along. But something I know for a fact, is that I love you all of the time..There have been many times I have asked myself, "What have you ever done for me?", and the truth is....not very much...But the things I have learned from you are gifts that I will continually cherish. And a relationship is not about who gives what, it is about love and compassion. Two words that at times seem hard to find when dealing with some of our situations. Sometimes I wonder how you got to be the person you are today, you are so very different from the person I spent so much time laughing with, crying with, and occasionally "fist" fighting with. I often wish, that there was a rewind button, and I could stop certain events in your life, so that you would have a clear view to see the choice you were about to make, and how it would affect everyone around you. I always think that surely you would make the less selfish decision, and chose to be the friend I once knew. I was asked to make a choice with you, the choice to accept the person you are today, or leave. And I left. That does not mean I will not always be here ALL hours of the day to come running full speed by your side if you need something, and yes, part of true love is loving the person where they are....But at some point, a person becomes exhausted watching and knowing there is nothing I can say or do to you to show you that you DESERVE better, you are WORTH so much more, and despite what you have been told that no one could love you after what you have been through...I feel like God is preparing a person of great worth for you. Growing up, I always knew you would be the first one to be married, and have children. But the man I envisioned your husband, was someone far different. I have made the decision, that I will not just accept things you ask of me so you can act like there are no problems. And if that means that you no longer want me around...I accept that. I will gladly wait from afar until the time comes that you realize that nothing I do is to hurt you. In the end, I feel like the dreams we have had for ourselves, and each other just scattered...and here we are two wounded friends, two wounded sisters....neither wants to give....neither thinks the other side is right, and there is really no solution except God and time. Please know that even though I am not with you, I am always here for support, and I will always be here.